live-cycle

I’ve always thought of cyclists as a rather selfish bunch. Not in a bad way, just a mild, self-centred, let’s-get-out-and-enjoy-ourselves kind of way. I mean, that’s the point of cycling, isn’t it? Get on your bike when you want to, ride where you want to, and generally do as you like. If others are free to ride at the same time, all good and well. If no one else is around, well, you just ride alone. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there? Now, for reasons I’ll explain, I find myself looking at tandems. You know, those bicycles made for two. It has made me consider cycling as a proper team effort.
So why, you ask, the sudden change to twosomes? Well, my brother-in-law wants to do a sponsored cycle ride from Edinburgh to Manchester. But there’s one problem – he is blind. He could walk that distance, but it would take weeks, whereas cycling it could take just a few days. And so – brave man, or maybe foolish – he has settled on cycling, and the only way for him to do that is on a tandem. Hence I have been drafted in for my knowledge about cycling (questionable), my navigational skills (dodgy) and some legpower (over the hill).
So I find myself looking on eBay at second-hand tandems. It’s a whole new world out there, with terms like captain (the person on the front, apparently) and the stoker (the person driving the engine). One bike up for sale was a recent gift. I’m not sure whether the seller was a man or a woman, but I tend to think that it might have been a woman. The reason for the sale, you see, was given as “the stoker has decided to divorce me”. Well, that’s certainly no longer a stylish marriage. Some relationships, it seems, cannot be held together even by a bicycle made for two. So sorry, Daisy.
Well, I’ll let you know how we are getting on, and would be grateful for any useful advice. One thing is certain, I won’t be the stoker on this venture.

Sorry if I got your hopes up, but it turns out that my last posting was incorrect – I have heard directly from Kevin Vermaak that Lance Armstrong won’t be taking part in the 2011 Absa Cape Epic.

Kevin said: “Re Lance, there’s been a lot of talk. He himself said that he wishes to ride it, this year and the year before. But the news we have for 2011 is that he won’t be riding. Pity.”

Yes, and a pity it is, because  Lance’s participation would do a world of good for mountain biking in general, and the Epic in particular. It would probably have brought live coverage of the race around the world, and put SA on the mountain biking map in a way that the football World Cup did not manage to do.

I said it ages ago – now there appears to be some confirmation: Lance Armstrong will be taking part in the 2011 Cape Epic. His entry hasn’t yet been confirmed by the organisers, but the online newspaper The South African reckons that the seven-time Tour de France winner will definitely be riding. The site does not give a source the information, but Kevin Vermaak, the founder and organiser of the Epic, hinted to me at the beginning of the year that he expected Armstrong to be on board this year or next.
But now, I wonder, how will the laid-back, easygoing Cape Epic travelling show cope with the high-powered, media-savvy Armstrong entourage? The Epic has always been a place where Joe Average (that includes me) has rubbed shoulders with the aristocracy of mountain biking. This year I was in the media pack that followed the Tour de France, and it was noticeable that wherever Armstrong went, he avoided the press and public, and was shielded by his teammates and minders. That, of course, was for his own protection, because otherwise he would have been mobbed whichever way he turned.
I would like to think that my fellow Southafricans are more chilled out and would let Lance just get on with riding, but somehow I’m not so sure.
Whatever happens, he presence would be a huge boost and quite a coup for an already-popular event. And Lance’s place on the podium would certainly not be assured, whoever he chooses as his race partner.

It’s not often that a Youtube clip makes me want to revisit a scene of past suffering. After completing the Cape Epic last year for the second time, I said no more. Then I saw the launch video for the 2011 Absa Cape Epic, and I just wanted to be back there, in the heat and dust, suffering through the endless climbs. How about it, Paul. If you get the sponsor, I’ll arrange the entry, and we can both work on the fitness.

The rest of you, judge for yourselves by watching this:

It happened at the turn of the month, the moment when the clocks moved back to mark the official end of the summer. That was the moment when time seemed to speed up. Since then, daylight has faded faster than a taxi driver flashing his lights as he tries to mow you down. Yes, it is the time of year when simply getting out on your bike becomes a challenge. All the elements – yes, even light itself – conspire against the most eager, willing rider.

I, for one, find that I am not always up to the challenge. I find myself spending more time at the computer than in the saddle. I could spend these hours carving my solitary route along the muddy byways of the North Downs, or pounding along the back lanes of Kent. Instead, I take the easy route, and park myself at the keyboard, and sit here, browsing through all the websites that my wife would rather I avoid. All the hours wasted, admiring untouchable, unobtainable beauties that I could only, ever admire from afar.

I am talking, of course, about bike porn (yes, for that is what it is). Here is Wiggle, trying to tempt me with some AMAZING DEALS on WINTER CLOTHING. They have Assos tops, and Castelli bib shorts. I scroll through their wares, salivating, and find that maybe, if I stretch the budget, I could afford a pair of Castelli Quindici socks. But I decide no. They will look a bit flash with my torn-at-the-knee Decathlon tights. ChainReaction, meanwhile, is trying to convince me that I need a whole new bike, or at least a set of DT Swiss wheels, a snip at 50% off.

And so the wasted hours pass by, tongue hanging out, drool dripping onto the keyboard, until the missus walks in and finds me at it. Finally she has realised I am beyond hope, and no longer lectures me. Instead, she just sighs to herself, and wishes that I had a more healthy interest: “Why don’t you just look at naked women like other men?”

Aren’t children a wonderful invention? Yes, they aren’t quite as clever and useful as bicycles, but if we don’t beat them too often, and train them right, they can do things like fetch our slippers, or get cold beers from the refrigerator. Of course, bicycles are a lot more fun. With children, the fun seems to peter out once we have procured our offspring. And spending on bicycles is inversely proportionate to the age of the child – the older they get, the less cash there is to spend on bikes. But still, you have to love them, don’t you – I mean, it’s the law, isn’t it? – because eventually they grow up and leave home. And once again, if we have any cash left, we can spend it on bikes.
One thing that we don’t love is birthdays – the more we have, the fewer we want. It’s a bit like all those £1 pairs of socks that we keep getting as birthday gifts, but what else are the little tykes supposed to give us with the £5 that we gave them?
But if we train them really well, occasionally they outdo themselves. I had another one the other day – birthday, that is. My kids are now old enough to engage their brain in the process. My son checked out my bookshelves first, and came up with a couple of missing volumes: vintage Kingsley Amis, and an early J.M Coetzee. Good choice there, lad. My daughter, meanwhile, lucked out on the internet and found a gem of a book, Bike Snob.
I have known of and followed the Bikesnob webwsite for some time – it is always an engaging read – but I didn’t know that it had produced a book. I’m not going to give you the web address because I know that if I do, you’ll go off and read it and never return to these desolate shores, so instead, I’ll tell you about the book, which must be the envy of all bike bloggers. The book has a gold cover, and four Bike Snob stickers at the back, which I will plant judiciously, but I don’t know where yet. Like the blog, the book is wonderful, witty and irreverent, and is happy to take potshots at all churches of cycling, as well as our many detractors. Actually, if you want to know any more about the book, go and buy your own copy, because I know you’re going to find the website anyway, and bugger off and leave me alone. So as my parting gift to you, here is the site – Bike Snob NYC. But please, promise to come back here. After all, I do love you too. Really.

THE BIG QUESTION: why is it always your favourite mug that gets chipped, and not the one that you can't stand but you have to use it because your kids gave it to you for your birthday? Why?

I was desperate sorry to see Nicole Cooke pipped on the finishing line in Melbourne to miss out on the medals at the world championships. Nicole has had such an awful, desperately unlucky year, and she could have done with a good showing here to find some redemption. I did think, in those final stages of the race, she had the strength to ride away from her competitors, but in the end she suffered from a lack of top-level racing. She showed she still has the potential to ride at the highest levels, but riding alone, as she tends to ride, is never easy. Let’s hope that gold at the Commonwealth Games might bring some recompense.

Emma Pooley, meanwhile, has rounded off a fantastic year with a win the the world time-trial. Her success shows what a difference it makes riding with an outfit like Cervelo Test Team. Talk of a time-trial/road-race double might have been a bit ambitious, but it  certainly shows how well Emma has ridden this year.

Nicole  certainly was pipped at the post, and was credited with the same time as the winner. The BBC said the same of David Millar in the men’s time-trial. “Pipped” is surely not the word – the fabulous Fabian Cancellara won the event by more than a minute, making it a race of his own. David Millar  won the race of the mere mortals, a fantastic result for someone who suffered the ignominy of being banned for two years and has to fight his way back. Redemption indeed.

As for Cancellara, he just keeps pedalling away in a league of his own.

What a sorry state of affairs – Alberto Contador is said to have won this year’s Tour de France while using an illicit substance. I was there, watching the race from the frontline  – the riders’ paddock, the press room and the finish line. Use of drugs was a regular topic of conversation and column inches. We all knew of Floyd Landis’s claims about Lance Armstrong and others. There were late withdrawals by riders, but no one, not one single person, suspected Contador.

For many journalists – especially British ones – Contador just does not fit the image of a Tour de France winner. He is swarthy, sullen, and does not slip easily into the style of cycling shoes left vacant by Armstrong. He might have finished the Tour wearing the yellow jersey, but for many, Contador is not the golden boy. That accolade falls to Andy Schleck, the man so many, journalists especially, really wanted to win the Tour.

I must admit at the outset that I am a Contador supporter. I don’t want to believe that he is a drugs cheat – and if that proves to be the case, I will feel cheated. But I feel even more upset by a certain glee that a number of Contador’s detractors have shown. What happened to the maxim of innocent until proven guilty?

When previous riders have been stripped of their Tour titles and banned, the evidence has been as  clear cut as this murky world allows. But this case is far from clear cut, and there can be no joy or satisfaction should the crown be handed to Andy Schleck in this manner.

In the meantime, we have to read the words of those who prefer to smear reputations rather than allow the claim to run its judicial course. UCI and WADA, the cycling and sports  drugs, bodies should have remained silent until there was some endgame, rather than encourage smear and speculation. Contador has denied the claims. Of course he will. There are many who say that his denial is proof of his guilt. All of it is a load of tosh, but they will get away with writing and saying whatever they like.

In the end, nothing can save Contador now. He is placed in a situation where he can never win. He could be guilty, but cleared. He could be innocent, but convicted and condemned.  Whatever happens, he will never be viewed as clean. The mud has been thrown, and it might not stick, but it will always leave a stain.

Who do you turn to when you need help? Friends are always a good place to start. But why would I need to be asking for help in the first place? Well, my wife works for a charity in Kent and I have become friends with many of the people there, those who work there and those who find help there. I have little to offer the charity, apart from my big smile and loads of enthusiasm. My skills as a (former) journalist don’t count for much here, but I have found that there are things from my past life that I can use. One of these is my love of bikes and cycling.

Many of the people here use bikes to get around, and many of the bikes are second and third-hand hand-me-downs that have seen better days and faster highways. But still, the wheels go round, the cranks can be cranked, and they get the riders from A to B in X amount of time, or X + Y if they go the scenic route. But even on the best bikes, bits wear out and need to be replaced. And this is where I come in. I have become the unofficial bike mechanic, something that keeps me out of trouble most of the time. Of course, being bike mechanic isn’t any good if you have nothing to fix the bikes with, and this is where I needed a little help from my friends.

A treasure trove, courtesy of Halfords

When Paul and I rode the Epic last year we were sponsored by Boardman Bikes and supported by the people at Halfords. Now, many serious cyclists put Halfords down, but I am very supportive of them – they have always been helpful and I count them among my friends in the cycling world. So when I appealed to them if they had any bits and pieces that they no longer needed, they responded in a more than generous manner – you can see the treasure trove here. This means that, more than just fixing the bikes, many can be upgraded beyond expectations. This will help to keep the guys (and some girls) on the road for some time to come.

All I can say is a very big THANK YOU to Lou and Sara and all at Halfords.

So, the Tour of Britain has come and gone – not that you’d notice, if you’d been reading the mainstream press. The eight-day race finished in Docklands yesterday, the same day that the Vuelta a Espana (Tour of Spain) completed its three-week run. So why didn’t we notice them? Because newspapers, in general, just don’t care enough to give you adequate coverage of the sport.
Look at the evidence. Today’s Times carries a three-paragraph brief on Mark Cavendish’s first points victory in a grand tour. Cavendish’s superb win in Spain surely deserved more than a passing mention, but worse is the fact that the report failed to mention who won the race overall. The Tour of Britain gets no mention – you have to turn to the small-print results to find what happened.
So, do you care? Do you have somewhere else to find out about what happened? I suppose, because you’re reading a blog, you’re savvy enough to find this kind of information. But there are thousands of people, many of them cyclists, who weren’t aware that the Tour of Britain was taking place. Many don’t even know that there is a Tour of Britain. And some who do know about it still think the Tour is called the Milk Race. Well, I suppose at least the Milk Race struck a chord with the British public, something that the current format doesn’t seem capable of.
Are we suffering cycle fatigue after the three weeks of the Tour de France? Is that one race enough to supply our annual fix of telly-cycling? If you love cycling, you surely should want more. Many thought that the launch of Team Sky would raise the profile of cycling in Britain, but that doesn’t seem to have happened. We can’t expect one professional team, even if backed by such a big corporation, to bring about a sea-change in attitude.
So what is to be done? A letter to the sports editor? A thousand letters to the editor? A critical mass cycle-by with pickets and protests? Or do we just pedal on, and allow football to gobble up the acres of newsprint? From where I stand, I just don’t think so.